Reality Checks
Lately it seems to me that reality can't keep away from me. Whatever I do, I get this bad feeling, like I'm wasting my life. 2008 was a year that was planed out for me, by the army. But when I failed to make the cut, I found myself back at home, with a beer and friends, just like it used to be. This year was supposed to tell me who I am and what I should do with my life. Now I'm stuck at him, with the same job as I had before wearing the greens, asking myself; how the hell am I going to make my dreams come true?
Everything is staying the same, yet somehow it feels like it's changing constantly. I can't go home after work and say: "Boy, in three months I'll be in the army" and just leave the future be. Now, when ever I wake up and to start my day, it feels like I'm aging with every step I take. It sounds completly retarded and it's quite pathetic to put this out on some American web-site knowning that not one soul is gonna read this.
I have managed to boil all of the possibilities down to two options. Either stay here in this 150 000 people town in Norway and study personal management. That'll make me one of the crowd, never sticking out, never taking a real risk. If I fail, so what, my family and friends are always right around the corner. But, the second option; three years in Wales studying Music Production. A dream come true, a real dream with real risk and exitement! Living in a foreign country, making new friends and maybe even get a girlfriend. God knows I'll never get one here, norwegian girls are beautiful and fun to be with, but I seem to never be boyfriend material. I'm the chubby guy with the camera making bad jokes. Like that dude in Knocked Up, you know the guy who slept with that insanely beautiful girl from Grey's Anatomy? Or that dude with the camera in Cloverfield.
Yep, that's me. A prizewinning lame white guy.
Oh, how fun to be me...
cheers.
(0) comments Leave a Comment
Flag it: