Celebrity Apprentice 2: Week 1 - Cupcakes
It's the new Celebrity Apprentice. But now it's two hours. And sixteen people. All with major egos.
And I'm back to extract the lessons from each episode.
The more things change, the more things stay the same,huh?
Lesson One: Thin skins bruise easily. Annie Duke established herself as a strong personality (how's that for a softened euphemism?) on Athena early on, much to the chagrin of chicklets like Khloe Kardashian.
Granted, Annie clearly believes "tact" is a four letter word. While she may have been a go-getter who was right about the facts, her presentation could clearly use work. For instance, on the whole cupcake frosting thing, she could have taken the attitude of "here's what the chef showed me - let's all do it this way so they all turn out the same."
But her abrasive manner raised the hackles on Claudia Jordan, who had to remind everyone in the boardroom she's a grown woman who knows how to frost a freakin' cupcake, thank you very much.
What darling Claudia needs to understand is that mental toughness isn't just about copping a 'tude - it's about achieving a high level of emotional self-management that enables you to deal with difficult situations and personalities effectively.
I would humbly suggest her next step in her progression toward that goal would be to learn how to take direction without hoisting her perfect little butt up onto her shoulders.
Lesson Two: Speak up, stupid! Stop me if you've heard this -- doesn't it always seem that the people who talk the most end up taking (or being given) the reins?
Herschel Walker got the first PM job simply because he was willing to speak up and guide the discussion. And while Joan Rivers was the women's PM, her daughter Melissa Rivers and Annie Duke talked their way into positions of unofficial authority pretty quickly.
We've all seen it -- anyone who's ever worked in a team environment knows the truth of a recent study at Berkeley showing that those who speak up the most are perceived as leaders, whether they're right or not.
Those seething with silent resentment may be more in the right, but they will get left behind if they don't start inserting themselves into the conversation.
Lesson Three: There is no "I" in "team." While the women were fighting for control, the men were trying to get certain team members (I'm not naming names, but their initials are Dennis Rodman and Andrew "Dice" Clay) to contribute anything at all.
The Diceman declared he was going to do his own thing his own way, and if he couldn't play it that way, he was going to pick up his ball and bat and go home. The Donald was all too happy to accommodate him.
Meanwhile, Dennis Rodman installed himself as the shop steward of the Whiners and Slackasses Union for the KOTU team. The Donald wasn't buying that, either. When Rodman wailed that he was "always the victim," Trump shut him down in a heartbeat: "Don't do that **** with me, Dennis."
Predictably, one of the weaker links got sent home. I suspect we'll have several weeks of unsurprising firings before we really start to have a horse race.
MY FAVORITE MOMENTS
* Brande Roderick: "Who said size doesn't matter?"
Claudia Jordan: "The small one."
* Joan Rivers naming Brande as the star player on Athena. If [Annie's] looks could have killed ...
* The Diceman's constant reminders of how he is THE MOST SUCCESSFUL STANDUP COMIC EVER. (This is probably news to Eddie Murphy.)
THE FIRED APPRENTICE'S CHARITY: Stand Up for Kids <www.standupforkids.org>
THE WINNING PM'S CHARITY: God's Love We Deliver <www.godslovewedeliver.org>
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